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  • Writer's pictureAmanda Jane Medium

What's going on? Am I going mad or could this be an awakening?

Updated: Feb 10, 2021

~ Spiritual growth ~ Awakening ~ Energy change ~

So I'm noticing that a lot of people are going through awakening changes or will in the next while...

Being propelled through a world pandemic most certainty has sped this up and for good reason.

In these sh*t times with all social media exposure to all whats wrong in the world has made people really question and initiated many on their journey of growth. This week there has been a large collective change many sensitive's are feeling this and others maybe subtly and unconsciously, but what happens when we have an energy change?

In its early stages we will often experience it as struggle, feeling like something is wrong but with no logic to it? searching for a reasonable cause is near impossible, do you feel like your going mad? or not feeling yourself?

Energy vibrates through different oscillation's and your experience of energy change often comes through Crisis, trauma, a resurface of old wounds or some rite of passage.. this is an activator of growth.

Where you suddenly begin to no longer feel harmonised with those you are familiar with, the life you know, where you are going in your life, what you believe in? none of it makes sense?

Commonly in its negative state soul awakening occurs stripping you back and bare, bringing you down to a point of surrender, You may ask yourself questions regarding your life, what is this all about? why is the world the way it is? what's the point of this? on top of being confused by going through this shift and change of energy , You may start to feel a sense of isolation in your own world? believe it or not this is healthy and normal, because you are slowly detaching from thoughts, beliefs and conditioned mindsets either from yourself or others and because there is a deconstruction process at play, a transitionary process has now begun and you are the center of it.


We usually start from the ground up and that includes clearing our darkest of crap and outworn data, it is the ripping off that band aid that accomplishes true healing and empowerment. If accomplish is anything? what does that even mean in an awakening you may ask?

I suppose accomplishing is attaining a sense of 'balance' a realistic aim, then everything else takes care of itself.

Though this change causes an additional crisis because there is a grief or sadness experienced and guilt type feelings rise to the surface due to your conditioned mindset, your shock at your thoughts or your shadow appearing, and a grieving of your old ways of thinking and that missing of being attached to your old life because it felt easier, "ignorance is bliss"

because all you had as a reference in life was.. your old life? the way things used to be? the familiar, bad or good, its what you know and are accustomed to.

Along comes this existential crisis in the mix, to throw everything up in the air, a restructuring phase begins, you'll kick and scream like a toddler into it because you like to stay in what feels easy and familiar, but the old you is dying off, and that leads you into uncharted territory? it's scary sh*it, but change is inevitable so consider how painful resistance to that change can be? look to how you can ease yourself in gently by the practice of being a little less resistant and imagine that you are a curious excited child exploring new things.

Change is just don't know it yet?

Some few tips that may help you through this early stage.. Think about sourcing awareness of this phenomena, ie people who have or are experiencing these changes, lots of helpful advice out there..surround yourself with positive supportive people, but be aware only gain and absorb information that you feel is correct for you, that resonates.. there are a lot of ego issues through awakening phases and those suffering with spiritual by-pass ( something I will discuss in another series of blogs) so during this search you may attract misinformation through others ego, influencers..those on a power trip and control type energies... In our curiosity and vulnerability we are all subject to being be influenced by negative people.

Like all things in the universe there is the good, the bad and the down right ugly..

So be street smart, treat yourself through your awakening like you would when taking care of your home, finances, the ones you love, as you do that with respect, common sense and good acumen, the same applies.

Treat yourself in this way and the journey will be easier.

*Always consult your medical practitioner for elimination of any worries or underlying medical issues that may concern you, even if you feel silly going to the doctor 20 times its best to ease the mind and mind the body itself, because through this shift ..which occurs many times there are biological and mental changes occurring, you cannot always clarify what exactly is happening? you may not get answers and have to just go with it, but be sensible in your health self care. You may experience your anxiety levels rise, a sense of feeling almost spaced out or not belonging, highs and lows of polar extremities, that unsettling feeling that comes upon you..but you just cant explain or reason why? sadness/ depression on an increased level..questioning your purpose?Your fear of mortality, and possible obsessions of focus or feelings becoming more intense..

ie: Anger/rage rising, fears..looking for solutions to issues..old emotions that you had buried or very commonly avoidance behaviours flourish in a attempt to control your fears and frustrations, wanting to run away and avoid anything that is negative within you or any outside trigger that’s negative, this can lead you to substance or other addictions in an attempt to deal with clearing pain, or avoid emotional pain.

Only by going straight through it with surrender, you will achieve healing and freedom in the long term.


Although your a soul being and energy in origin, you are in a physical vehicle so every energetic change is processed through the neurological system and through these processes there are reactions within the body as it experiences this shift, it has an impact, real physical phenomena experienced via the brain and nervous system along the solar plexus in the tummy we call the central hub..and other energy portals along our body charging our nervous system, our brain, allowing a higher frequency to hold space in our physical body and the field of energy surrounding it,

This frequency that flows through us is what we refer to as consciousness... New energy allowing to vibrate within our field, ' this field of energy flowing through and around us also termed as 'universal energy', divine spark, kundalini, source.. whatever you like to refer to it as, its one and the same.


So you've gone or going through a period of feeling like utter crap and can't seem to get a hold on it, you may go to doctors, medicate, or use traditional therapists working through some wounds but still there is something that doesn't quite fit, this effort is great as it contributes to your whole well being.. but it still doesn't fit well with you? huh?

You see in order to accommodate this higher frequency, you have to be shaken stirred and settled into this new form of integration..out with the old and in with the new...

New aspects of your being..

this may be why some usual attempted methods of therapy/ coping strategies don’t cut it for you.

Tough initially.. yes you bet ya!! but you are completely capable.. because you are powerful..

In that soul waits happiness and empowerment.

We need to clear blocks, stagnant energies stored with in us, in our lifetime and previous one's this all relates to ourselves on a psychological and biological level..

psychopathology comes up because of the mental emotional issues though the clearing phases and this is where too often people are given labels or misdiagnosis leading them away from their true awakening or healing any soul sickness that may present, Sometimes people like to stay in this period themselves because it's far easier, someone has lead them, told them they have this diagnosis so they accept it, dependency is safe, its less work and makes for an easier life and that is ok because that's coping, because they are choosing that as a soul being they have complete free will of those choices of growth and that's still OK.

So how are you feeling? are there strange sensations you cant explain?

hence the nervous system effects, many physical issues come up through this experience...



Aches, pains, sweats, shakes, tremors, temperature changes, headaches, head and eye pressure, one sided headaches, vision changes, skin itching , skin crawling sensations , pelvic/lower back pain, digestive upset, bloating, (*rarely some seizure type experiences.

Numbness, tingles, ear issues, high pitch sounds, high sensitivities to sound either too loud or can't hear, memory blocks, word blocks..mind blanks and forgetfulness.

Food aversions, dizziness, balance issues nausea or food cravings, decrease in appetite, spontaneous allergies, libido changes, unexplained fatigue issues, Sleep disturbances.


Psychic phenomena , heightened empathy~ sensing of emotions or feelings of anger or sadness, Joy from others, flashes of light, spirit visitations, Angel or light being experiences, dreams, visitation dreams.

flickers of colour in your peripheral vision. lifting out of the body or sleep paralysis * ( your energy coming away from your physical where you wake and become conscious of it)

emotional or mental anomalies can occur...


Difficulty staying around certain individuals or crowds of people, irritatability 'unreal thoughts of feelings passing through you, racing mind..amplified fears, or waves of anxiety out of nowhere. Terror dreams, lucid dreams, a sense of unreality, sensitivity to images , Apparitions of negative phenomena in dream states as you clear your shadow side. Depression extreme highs and lows, suidical thoughts, excess nervous energy.

A heaviness of depressive feelings and sadness, crying even with no obvious trigger that you know, feeling sad for something that you cannot process with logic, ( some instances being a past life clearing issue, minus the details or events being exposed to you again in this lifetime.)

Sometimes these build over days or few come at once.


This is the spiritual detox, old clearing allowing room for new, but its not all bad, it leads you to realisation and many happy benefits, beautiful experiences and sense of freedom, you can experience flushes of creativity, song/poetry, feeling a sense of mission or bliss states, gifts coming to the surface communing with Angels, synchronized signs..waves of Love, increased compassion and a stronger connection to humanity, nature and animals..leading you to making positive life changes.

Bliss is often written and mentioned in texts, but it gives a unrealistic goal that doesn't quite exist in our current time where demands and distractions are paramount in society, illusionary in itself leads to feelings of failure for not attaining or experiencing such experiences or states, and the pattern of always chasing the illusionary goal, arising the self judgements , so this can be counter productive.

Take the pressure off yourself at the off..

there is no one to impress, this is all attained WITHIN there is nothing outside of you that can create bliss.

Peaceful Bliss' a sensed feeling that is rarely described easily and most often it is

“true gratitude“ in all of your life allows you to feel that feeling..whatever your situation.

So in this blessing of awakening education is key, adding to your awareness and inner strength to become the best version of 'you'.

Of course there are real medical conditions and mental health medical conditions that come into light and overlap or mimic in awakening or that a suspected awakening may be masking ,these may not be true awakening symptoms, but that's not to say anyone with mental health conditions do not awaken either, and why it’s so important to medically eliminate any issues, it the souls journey, its only through getting help , time and nurture you will come to understand what is true to you, so its vital to educate yourself. Awakening is an intelligence of its own so it cannot be forced nor controlled it has to be guided like a little child learning through each milestone.

The nervous system is our sensory map of recognition.. all the way down to our cellular level. your original blueprint of stored information. What to do? we are all individuals we experience this at different levels of intensity or duration. This phenomena relates to your left and right brain coming into alignment rotating back and forth while healing and balancing the male and feminine aspects of your energy. Hang in there..let whatever your experiencing come, as its not permanent, but in order to release what is no longer needed you need to let do that the will of the mind has to surrender to this, that can only be done through your own internal dialogue working deep with your ego self to attain some self acceptance and if you can move beyond this.. you are allowing a clearing of energy to take place, the nervous system then can excrete this energy block or processes out through biological body,

via eyes' tears' sinus , increased sweats moving through lymph glands..digestive tract, body twitches or movements etc repressed energy builds..

If you were to imagine a water hose pipe just like your spine, with water flowing into it, but it's pinched in areas building pressure, also being clogged, when it suddenly releases it then clears the stagnant gunk at the pinch sites, allowing the water to flow easily along and more clearly.. but there is an intense pressure in that building and clearing moment..

it always passes..This is YOU

A moment of freeing 'energy in motion'.

So allow yourself without judgement.. time, contemplation, nurture help or assistance to aid your transition. This can be done via therapy, bonding with a supportive ear, getting out in nature as this is a real good cure, it keeps you grounded so you are less spacey and distracted in your thoughts and mind energy, and all those the rising feelings that come up..nature helps you to experience less irritation by keeping things simple and being with what is natural, Allowing the body to re-balance itself to adjust..getting rid of excess charges of energy to balance yourself. Try bringing your awareness to the present moment, notice your body, become conscious of the intake of what you eat, sleep, media time does it support your body's needs? What company do you keep? are they in your life for growth or for your fears?


Meditation and Mindfulness is very helpful but only in short bursts through acute energy awakening phases, its important to practice gradually with adjustment to your new found awareness and senses. Quieting the mind is beneficial.. best done with gentle practice.

* Over meditating can lead to too much un-groundedness, and holding past trauma it can have ill effects, while your going through an awakening it can leave your energy open and connected to nothing mostly your ego mind energy, desires, imaginary states and those of the collective energy of others outside of you.. this leaves your energy vulnerable to negative influence, causes excess energy to build into the head or the crown space creating heat which can lead to mental health imbalance, paranoia's, and altered states of unreality, some do experience this in a forced way either by drugs or super fasting, extreme breath practice, some of these usually by inexperienced self appointed gurus or personal self exploration which can lead to a host of bio chemistry changes in the brain that do not work out positively and can destroy the healthy mind with possible long term dysfunctions.

As tempting as it may be to achieve some kind of high to fast track your awakening or in the circumstance of avoiding emotional pain.. this will not speed your awakening process up or enhance it in anyway.

Tibetan monks refer to as 'monks madness', and too much of a good thing ain't good.


There are further deeper states of awakening.. in our modern era where we need to support this on a realistic level and a much needed recognised modernization practice in the supporting of "awakening souls, through mental health and spiritual health combined as the norm in our hospitals and clinics..

Something old knowledge has taught us well by our tribal brothers and sisters to this point, but we evolve as does our souls and the practice of whats brings us to the authentic self for the now and balance for future generations needs applying to the present era blending tribal/ modern therapy, spiritual health care and psychology integrating as a trinity healthcare system of our current time and future.

For you..Enjoy your new found self and you will get through this with patience, understanding and that inner wisdom through this experience, always remember you came here to learn in this life so make the best of every opportunity because

The 'new you‘ will thank you for it...

~Amanda Jane~ ©️ 2020


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